Motherhood in the Trenches

I recently started reading Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic. Truth be told, I'm on my third time of reading the book. I've been reading a chapter or two each night before I go to bed.

It is a little book, but one of the best about mothering little children that I have read in a very long time. It is very atypical than most mothering books I have read, because Rachel speaks to my little mothering soul. She convicts me while she is making me laugh. She makes me want to be a better mother while giving me practical advice on how to do so.

One of her chapters, titled Spirited Riders, is particularly applicable to my spirited little Savannah girl. I appreciate that she helps me to appreciate Savannah's emotions as given from God at the same time working towards channeling them into kindness. Rachel encourages me to not view the emotions as the enemy, but to teach and train Savannah to control her emotions.

Rachel is the mother of 4 children who, at the time of the writing of her book, 3 were in diapers, and in her chapter on being the mother of many, she says: "As their mother, I am responsible to see them individually, even when they are presenting themselves en masse." She talks about accepting grace to enjoy all of the help in the kitchen, when one helper may be appreciated, three means extra hands, extra messes and extra grace needed to enjoy the messy messes instead of pushing them aside to accomplish the task more quickly and cleanly.

Rachel encourages mothers to accept the differences of their children, even, and probably especially when the gifts of your child goes against your own natural giftings. She talks about a family of tomatoes who had a watermelon born into their family "but trying to whittle a watermelon down to a tomato will impair its growth and still not make a tomato. You will end up hurting your children badly, but still not getting what you want, which hurts them even more."

I'll leave you with one last quote: Rachel is talking about Growth Spurts as children outgrow naps and toys and begin to need bigger projects and outlets for their new energies. I know the extra challenges as Emily and Savannah have outgrown naps and toys and so I laughed out loud when I read: "You know those pain scales at the hospital, where they rate your pain from one to ten? Well, pretend that you are screaming, "Thirteen, thirteen! Fifteen!" What that should tell you is that it is time to restart the whole thing, stop screaming, and just deal with the fact that this is now the new "one". Start over, and accept the new "normal.""

I think I've had to reset that scale at least 6 times over the last few years. And now I look back at those times when I was screaming "Thirteen, thirteen!" and laugh at how easy I had it.

Ok, I'm sorry, one more last quote:
"Blessings, like children, are not ethereal and weightless. Sometimes they feel like they come at you like a Kansas hail store-they might leave a welt! But if you accept your lot and rejoice in your toil, God will give you the kind of overwhelming joy that cannot remember the details. Motherhood is hard work. It is repetitive and often times menial. Accept it. Rejoice in it. This is your toil. Right here. Those are their faces. Enjoy them. The days of your life are supposed to be full of things like this. But joy is not giddy. It is not an emotional rush-it is what happens when you accept your lot and rejoice in your toil. So rejoice in your children. Look them in the eyes and give thanks. You will not even remember the work of all this planting when the harvest of joy overwhelms you."

If you are a mother in a trench, I cannot recommend this book highly enough.You will love her outlook, practicality and sense of humor.